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Loving Dark Men
-- EXCERPT: The guy. He’s been missing since the first day. Well, maybe I’ve been missing. He’s never in the dining hall, and, of course, he’s not in the lab. And those are the only two places I go, so… He smiles at me and my whole body goes tingly with the memory of what we did in the woods. I stop walking and just stare. He’s leaning against a tree and immediately I see him the way he was that first day. He’s wearing something very similar—sweat shorts and a shirt tucked into his waistband. He must jog a lot. He signals to me with a single finger. Not a wagging finger, but a point. Almost like he’s beckoning a waitress. I do a half-hearted wave back and turn to the coffee cart. I don’t know what’s going through his mind right now, but I’m not interested. It was a one-time thing as far as I’m concerned, something I’m not going to dwell on or feel shame over, but there is no burning need inside me to force it to make sense. It was… a need met. An itch scratched. Hell, that’s giving it way too much credit. It was a weird once-in-a-lifetime sexual opportunity that came about due to my new surroundings and-- Once-in-a-lifetime? Really? Fine. I’m slutty, what can I say? I still don’t feel any shame. And I do not look over my shoulder. Not before I order, not while I order, and not while I wait for my coffee. I give him plenty of time to go somewhere else. But when I turn, he’s still there. Lifting that one finger at me again. And this time, he does beckon me. Then he turns and walks into the trees. “Are you fucking kidding me?” I mutter this under my breath, then look around, to see if anyone is paying attention. No one is, as far as I can tell. When I look back at him, all I catch is his bare back disappearing into the woods. Nova, you will not follow that man into the woods. Nova… Nova! But I’m already walking in that direction. Because… that kiss. Holy shit, that kiss. I mean, I don’t think a man has ever kissed me like that. Well, maybe Travis. But that was his one and only chance. I was leaving the next day for college. And, in fact, we never did see each other again. No. One teenager’s desperate attempt to make himself memorable is not the same as this man’s all-encompassing lust. Nova. You’re walking. Yes. I am. You’re walking towards the woods. You’re very observant, monologue me. But save your breath. I’m going. At the very least, I need his name. I mean, what kind of man beckons a strange woman into the woods, helps her jerk himself off, comes in her hand, then just… walks away? Not even a half-hearted ‘see ya later?’ Not even a ‘thank you?’ I need something to add to this story. I can’t leave it like this. It will drive me crazy.
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