From the blurb:
A haunting and breathtaking YA contemporary debut, cut through with light and romance, about a seventeen-year-old girl who relives the events leading up to her suicide—perfect for fans of Girl in Pieces, Speak, and All the Bright Places.

Seventeen-year-old Ellie had no hope left. Yet the day after she dies by suicide, she finds herself in the midst of an out-of-body experience. She is a spectator, swaying between past and present, retracing the events that unfolded prior to her death.

But there are gaps in her memory, fractured pieces Ellie is desperate to re-assemble. There's her mother, a songbird who wanted to break free from her oppressive cage. The boy made of brushstrokes and goofy smiles who brought color into a gray world. Her brooding father, with his sad puppy eyes and clenched fists. Told in epistolary-like style, this tour de force of a novel sensitively examines the beautiful and terrible moments that make up a life and the possibilities that live in even the darkest of places.

My thoughts:
The topic of this debut novel is very difficult to discuss, so we often avoid talking about it. Teenage suicide, unfortunately, happens, and let me start by reiterating the main message of this book:

'Be tenacious in your quest to find hope in your life...The world needs you in it.'

There is help, there are people who want to hear from you, people who will listen and understand. Life is precious and ever changing, while death doesn't bring peace, it brings stillness and horrible finality. If you are suffering or know somebody who is, reach out. Type in Suicide Prevention and find a number to call.

As I mentioned above, it takes courage to write a story like this. I wasn't surprised to find out that the author worked as a behavioural therapist for ten years. She is very clear about  what she wants to say in this brief novel: life consists of good and bad moments, first love and friendship, music, art, dreams of becoming something bigger, and sometimes darker days when you might feel too tired to feel joy or anything at all. Yet, you matter, your life, your existence matters to people around you.

There are only four characters in this book: Ellie Walker, a 17-year-old girl who committed suicide the day before the beginning of the story, her mother, her abusive father, and her best friend (and more) August Matthews. Ellie comes back to a ghostlike existence and sees the effect of her death on the people she loves and relives her memories. She cannot touch, hug or comfort her mother when she sees her ashen face. She learns that her mother has been saving money to run away with Ellie after Ellie's graduation. Had Ellie listened, had she insisted on talking, she would have known that there was this possibility of turning their lives round in a different place. Ellie sees August's despair and gradually pieces together the story of their friendship, their hideaway games, and eventually their love that was full of promise. She sees how much she mattered to him. Had she told him about what it was really like to live with her father, had she given him a chance to prove that not all men are alike and not all love ends in a caged existence and sufferning, their story might have turned out differently.

The writing is very dramatic, and perhaps I am more used to toned-down realistic descriptions, as opposed to emotional outcries. The important thing is that Ellie, the main character is expressing herself, she is talking, shouting, even if it is a breath too late, and she knows she made a mistake, even though she cannot correct it.
The author chooses to give Ellie a closure. Her mother isn't going to have one. August is going to go through life knowing that his love was not enough, he was not enough. And this is another sad thing about suicides: the person who choses to end their life leaves peole who cared about them with permanent self-doubts and unanswered questions, and nobody gets over the death of their child.
Ellie wishes she could turn back the clock and undo her decision, because she finally understands she loves life. Life gives us possibilities - we need to keep on looking for them and sometimes we need to reach out for help.

Thank you to Edelweiss and the Henry Holt and Co. (BYR) for the ARC provided in exchange for an honest and unbiased opinion.

Alien Minds
by Christina Bauer
(Dimension Drift #3)
Published by: Monster House Books
Publication date: June 5th 2019
Genres: Science Fiction, Young Adult

Book Synopsis:
DIVERGENT meets OCEAN’S EIGHT in this urban fantasy heist!On my seventeenth birthday, I wake up in the hospital to find I just survived a sketchy but terrible accident. My parents stand by my bedside—both are beautiful, wealthy, and super-nice. They tell me that once I leave the hospital, I’ll attend the prestigious ECHO Academy, where I’ll churn out equations for the government along with my mega-smart peers.
So, I’m living the perfect life. 
Then why does everything feel all wrong? 
My parents, my house and even ECHO Academy…none of it fits. Plus, what’s up with Thorne, my brooding yet yummy classmate who keeps telling me I need to remember my true past, which seems to have included a lot of us kissing? That’s one thing I’d really like to remember, except for the fact that I’m pretty sure Thorne is hiding a ton of nasty secrets of his own, including the fact that he may not be from this world. But considering how my own past seems alien to me, it’s not like I can judge. Plus, Thorne has dimples. That’s a problem.
And worst of all, why does it feel so yucky to work on these calculations for the government? It’s all supposed to be part of ECHO, but my heart tells me that I’m helping something truly terrible come to pass. Thorne seems to think that kissing him again will release my real memories. 
Maybe it’s time to pucker up.
“Appealing and engaging. Love the strong female character!” – Arlene’s Book Reviews
This new series is perfect for: fans of urban fantasy, action & adventure, cool science, evil corporations, forbidden romance and hot new classmates who may or may not be aliens.


Dimension Drift Series
A dystopian adventure with science, snark and hot aliens
1. Scythe
2. Umbra
3. Alien Minds
4. ECHO Academy (Launches April, 2020!)

Author: Cristina Bauer

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Excerpt:
  Thorne

“Intoxication with technology is the hallmark of an underdeveloped society.” – Beauregard the Great, Instructions for Visiting Parallel Worlds

After spending hours on guard duty, I can finally leave Mass General. Soon I’m tooling my hoverbike toward the outskirts of the Boston Dome. Overhead, a cloud-free sky is projected onto the plasma. Tall buildings loom around me in a maze of chrome and concrete.

An image appears in my mind. Meimi—I never even think the false name Wisteria—lies curled on her hospital bed, drugged up and asleep. Every instinct in my soul says I should’ve stayed behind and guarded her while she rested. Not an option. An important appointment is coming up, and I can’t miss it.

For Meimi.

Of course, Godwin—my boss and Meimi’s doctor—doesn’t know I’m leaving the city. Then again, the doctor doesn’t know a lot of things about me.
Like the fact that I’m not from this planet.
Plus, I’m not just any alien. My father’s the Emperor of the Omniverse, the universe of universes.
So what Godwin doesn’t know about me is quite a lot, actually.
Meimi doesn’t know much, either. To begin with, she doesn’t remember that I’m her transcendent. Even worse, she thinks I’m in league with someone as evil as Godwin. Not to mention that I’m part of a government creating an apocalypse for anyone who isn’t perfect.
Bands of sorrow tighten around my chest. There’s no avoiding the truth. Meimi sees me as her enemy. I straighten my spine. But being her enemy? That keeps my girl safe. So that’s what I’ll no do, no matter how much it tears at my soul.